


Radius

by CrashDevil (cjdevlin19)



Series: The Geometry Series [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:46:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6081606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjdevlin19/pseuds/CrashDevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Trickster pulls Dean, Sam and Christina into TV Land. Changing Channels with a new addition. Trickster knows all about them... and then, Christina meets Chuck. </p><p>Castiel/Christina in chapter 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Changing Channels

Christina was finishing a meditation session when her phone went off. Dean smiled at her from her contact picture of him. "What's up, Winchester?"

"So, we're uh, in Wellington, Ohio. We are workin' a case. It's looking like the Trickster, again. Have you heard about him?"

"Yeah. Bobby filled me in. Mystery Spot, that college. So, he's back... again?"

"Lookin' like. Sam is thinking we should try to... make friends. Powerful ally and all that. I'm thinking that I'd like some extra firepower just in case. You wanna..." Christina tapped her wrist and circled it 3 times, appearing next to Dean as he finished. "...show up here? Hey, Siege."

She smiled. "Hi, Winchester. So, what's the plan?"

"We talk to him. Try to convince him to back us in the apocalypse." Sam said, from his spot at the little motel table.

"Hi, Sammy."

Sam nodded. Dean handed her a branch of wood and a knife. "Just in case." He said, setting to work whittling his own stake.

The police scanner on the table in front of Sam gave static before a voice came through. "Um, Dispatch? I-I got a possible 187 out here at the old paper mill on Route 6?"

"Hey." Sam said, turning the volume up. Dean stopped whittling and listened in.

"Roger that. What are you looking at there, son?" Dispatch came through.

"Honestly, Walt, I-I wouldn't even know how to describe what I'm seeing. Just... send everybody."

"All right. Stay calm, stay by your car. Help's on the way." Sam turned the volume off.

"That sounds weird." Dean said.

"Weird enough to be our guy?" Sam asked, turning his head to look at his brother.

"Definitely." Christina said, standing. "Let's go."

*************************************************

There were no blue lights outside the paper mill. There was nothing, no one in sight. "There was a murder here, and there's no police cars. There's nobody. How's that look to you?" Dean asked, pulling open the trunk.

"Crappy." Sam answered. Dean handed a stake and a flashlight to his brother, before pulling his own out. He shrugged at Christina, but she just smiled.

"Diafotízo." She said, holding her hand up. The brothers raised an eyebrow each with an identical look as her palm began to glow.

Dean closed the trunk and they walked into the building. Suddenly, they were in a hospital hallway. Christina's hand wasn't glowing. They were in blue scrubs and white jackets. They had badges and nameplates on their coats. Christina looked down at herself. Her scrubs were pink, her badge said 'Dr. C. Harris, Homeopath.'

"What the hell?" Dean asked, looking down at himself.

A blond doctor and an Asian smiled at the boys as they walked past. "Doctor."

"Doctor?" Sam questioned. Dean pushed open the door they had walked through, it had become a janitor closet. Christina chuckled at the man and woman who were making out in the little room. Dean closed the door and gave a freaked-out look to Sam and Christina.

A brunette woman in scrubs turned away from the reception desk and stalked up to Sam. "Doctor." She said, before slapping Sam.

"Ow!"

"Seriously?"

"What?"

"Seriously? You're brilliant, you know that? And a coward. You're a brilliant coward."

"Um. What are you talking about?" Sam asked, completely lost.

The doctor slapped him, again. "As if you don't know!" She said, before stalking off.

Christina watching Dean's face light up. "I don't believe this." He said, happily.

"What?" Sam and Christina asked.

"That was Dr. Piccolo." Dean said, like that explained everything.

"Who?" Sam asked.

"Dr. Ellen Piccolo." Dean started walking after her. "The-the sexy yet earnest doctor at- Seattle Mercy Hospital." He finished, gesturing at a the words over the reception desk.

"Uh, Dean. What the Hell are you talking about?" Sam asked, walking up to grab his brother's attention from his musings.

"The doctor get-ups. The, the, the sexy interns. The 'seriouslys'. It all makes sense." Dean said. Christina groaned as she caught up to his thinking.

"What makes sense? What's going on?" Sam asked.

"We're in _Dr. Sexy, MD._ " Dean said, looking around them. They began to walk the halls, uncomfortable standing in one place. "Dude. What the hell?"

"I don't know." Sam responded.

"No. Seriously. What the hell?"

"We don't know." Christina said.

"One theory. Any theory."

"Uh. The trickster trapped us in TV land."

"That's your theory? That's stupid."

"You're the one who said we're on _Dr. Sexy, MD_.

"Yeah, but TV land isn't TV Land. I mean, there's actors and, and lights and crew members, you know. This looks real."

"It can't be." Sam turned to him. "Dean, how can this possibly be real?"

"I don't know. All right."

"We're dealing with a trickster. How real was the Mystery Spot?"

"Doctors." The Asian doctor said, passing by them all again.

"There goes Dr. Wang. The sexy but arrogant heart surgeon." Dean followed her with his eyes down the hall, focusing on a patient in a grey bathrobe. "And there's Johnny Drake. Oh, he's not even alive, he's a ghost in the mind of—"

Another doctor, a brunette, walked over and sat next to the ghost. "Of her. The sexy yet neurotic doctor over there."

"Everyone's sexy." Christina mumbled.

"So, _this_ show has ghosts? Why?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. It _is_ compelling." Dean covered.

"I thought you said you weren't a fan." Sam asked.

"I'm not. I'm _not_." Dean turned away from them, his eyes focusing in on a tall male doctor down the hallway. "Oh, boy."

"What?" Christina asked.

"It's him." Dean said, a goofy look on his face.

"Who?" Sam asked.

"It's him, it's Dr. Sexy." Dean said, nervously as the doctor started walking down the hallway.

"Dr. Palmer. 'Dr. Sexy' is his nickname." Christina whispered as Palmer stopped in the hall next to them.

"Doctor." He said, directly to Dean.

Dean looked down to hide a smirk. "Doctor." He said.

"Doctor." Palmer said, turning to Christina.

She winked at him. "Doctor." She said, in her breathiest, sexy voice.

Palmer turned to address Sam. "Doctor."

Sam just nodded at him, which prompted Dean to whack him lightly. He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Doctor."

Dr. Palmer turned to Dean. "You want to give me one good reason why you defied my direct order to do the experimental face transplant on Mrs. Biehl?"

Dean struggled for his words, before plying for time. "One reason?" Palmer nodded. "Sure."

Dean looked down, his eyes narrowing, before he slammed the man into the wall. "You're not Dr. Sexy."

"You're crazy." Palmer said.

"Really? Because I swore part of what makes Dr. Sexy sexy is the fact that he wears cowboy boots. Not tennis shoes."

"In the books, he wears Italian leather." Christina said, before shrugging.

"Yeah. You're not a fan." Sam shook his head at him.

"It's a guilty pleasure." Dean said.

"Call security." Dr. Sexy ordered the girls walking down the hall.

"Yeah, go ahead, pal. See, we know who you are."

The approaching doctors and security guard all froze in place. Palmer grinned, then morphed into a brown-eyed man with dark blond hair. "You guys are getting better! Maybe it's the addition of the witch."

"Get us the hell out of here."

"Or what?" The Trickster asked, before grabbing Dean's arm, twisting it back. "Don't see your wooden stakes, big guy."

"That was you on the police scanner, right? This is a trick."

"Hello? Trickster. Come on! I heard you two yahoos were in town. How could I resist? Chrissy here was just a... wonderful addition."

"Where the hell are we?" Christina asked.

"Like it? It's all homemade. My own sets." He tapped the window on a door next to him, then gestured at the frozen extras. "My own actors. Call it my own little idiot box."

"How do we get out?" Dean asked.

"That, my friend, is the $64 question."

"Whatever. We just... we need to talk to you. We need your help."

"Hm. Let me guess." The Trickster said. "You two muttonheads broke the world, and you want me to sweep up your mess."

"Please. Just five minutes. Hear us out." Sam pleaded.

"Sure. Tell you what. Survive the next 24 hours, we'll talk."

"Survive what?" Christina and Dean asked.

"The game!"

"What game?" Dean asked.

"You're in it."

"How do we play?"

"You're playing it."

"What are the rules?" Dean growled. The Trickster raised an eyebrow before disappearing in a flash of static. The extras started moving again. "Oh, son of a bitch."

"Dr. Sexy? Dr. Sexy?" A petite blond doctor asked, walking down the hallway.

"Oh, by the way. Talking with monsters? Hell of a plan." Dean spat at his brother.

"Just, what do we do now?" Sam asked.

"You know what I'm doing? Leaving." Dean said.

A brunette doctor walked up. Christina recognized her as the sexy-yet-neurotic doctor with the ghost boyfriend. "Doctor. Can I talk to you?"

"Uh... sure?"

"You..." The brunette threw a look at Sam and Dean before pulling Christina away. "You believe in... alternate... I have a friend, who may or may not be seeing... an apparition."

"A ghost?"

The brunette cleared her throat. "Yes. I'm wondering if that may be... is there a way to-"

"Dude... doctor. Just, uh, burn the body." Christina laughed. "Never mind. Just, have your friend get a CT. There's a tumor involved."

"What? Doctor, you're the homeopath. You're basically a witch doctor. If I can't get an answer from you..." The brunette said, walking away sobbing dramatically.

Christina walked back to Dean and Sam as Dr. Piccolo showed up in front of them, swinging to slap Sam again. Sam ducked out of the way. "Lady, what the hell?"

"You are a brilliant, brilliant-"

"Yeah. A coward. You already said that. But I got new for you. I am not a doctor." Sam said, shaking his head at her.

The woman's face looked emotionally torn. "Don't say that. You are the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met, and I have met plenty. So that girl died on your table. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. Sometimes people just die."

Sam's eyebrows raised as Christina chuckled. "I have no idea what you're saying to me."

"You're afraid. You're afraid to operate again. And you're afraid to love." Dr. Piccolo ran off, sobbing.

"Yeah, we're getting out of here." Sam said.

"Hey. Doctor." A man said, quietly.

Dean turned to him. "Yeah."

"My wife needs that face transplant."

"Okay. You know what, pal? None of this is real, and your wife doesn't need jack squat. Okay?" Dean said, before starting down the hallway again.

"Hey, doctor." The man called out, before a gunshot rang out and Dean started to fall to his knees.

"Real! It's real!"

Sam grabbed Dean's hand and Christina put pressure on the wound as Sam chanted his 'No's' and called out for a doctor. "We are doctors, Sam!" She growled. "I need a stretcher! Clear an OR!" She shouted.

Sam looked at her in confusion. "I used to watch ER." She answered as a nurse showed up with a gurney and they pulled Dean up on his feet to position him on the bed. They ran to the elevator and followed the signs to OR 1.

Christina watched from the edge of the OR as Sam was handed tweezers and gauze. Sam looked confused, in over his head. "BP is 80 over 50 and dropping." She said.

"How bad is that?" Sam whispered.

"Bad, Stanford."

"Doctor." Dr. Wang said, holding out a scalpel Sam just looked at before shaking his head.

"Sam. Do something. Come on." Dean groaned.

Sam leaned over next to Dean's head. "I don't know how to use any of this crap."

"Figure it out." Dean whispered back.

Christina rolled her eyes, putting her hands in her pocket. She pulled out a quartz crystal and an amethyst. She scoffed. "Cause the witch has to walk around with healing crystals, right?" She whispered. "Sammy, this isn't your first gunshot, sweetheart. Figure it out."

"Sam. Come on. I'm waiting." Dean barked.

"Okay. Um. I need a penknife, some dental floss, a sewing needle, and a fifth of whiskey." Sam said. The other doctors looked at each other and him. "Stat!"

Christina walked forward, putting the quartz on the back of Dean's head and the amethyst just above the crack of his ass. "What is that?" Dean asked.

"Found some homeopathic crystals in my pocket. Might as well, right?" She giggled.

The other doctors walked back in with their supplies, placing them all on the tray next to the surgical tools. "This isn't very sterile, Doctor."

"That's what the whiskey is for." Sam rebutted as he began to dig the bullet out and deal with the wound as per hunter norm.

"We okay? How's it looking?" Dean asked as Sam finished the stitches.

"Yep. You'll be fine." Sam said, proudly.

Christina grabbed the crystals from Dean's back and put them in her pocket as things started to swirl a bit. A sound of clapping hit her ears, then she turned. The OR was replaced by a game show stage. Sam and Dean were locked into some sort of device and she was presenting a host, her arms raised like Vanna White. She looked down to see a shiny red mini skirt with a slit up the side and what was essentially a red bra. The white gogo boots were covering more of her than the rest of the clothes.

"Let's play Nutcracker!" The host shouted.

"Sam Winchester." The host started, before continuing in Japanese. "Countdown."

"What?" Sam asked. "Uh, what am I supposed to say?"

"You think I know?"

"Uh, I- I don't, I don't understand Japanese." Sam told the host.

The host walked around him, repeating the question and gesturing at Dean. Christina closed her eyes. "'oni' is demon! 'Ani' is brother. Something about a demon and brother." She shouted from her place by the door. The other showgirl wagged a finger at her.

"Is he screwing with me? I, I, I can't speak Japanese."

A buzzer sounded across the stage. "Ruby! I'm sorry, Sam Winchester."

"Sorry? Sir? For what?" Sam asked, panicked. The host put his hand up to politely cover his laughter. "Dean?"

Christina flinched as the pole on Sam's platform raised suddenly, whacking him in the crotch. Dean's face turned horrified as the host pumped his fist into the air. "Nutcracker!"

"Sam?" Dean asked. Sam made several inarticulate noises.

Christina stayed by the door as the other showgirl called to the host, shilling for some sort of Shrimp Chips. "You okay, Sammy?" Sam just looked at her.

A banging started on the door next to Christina, who turned to look at the flashing blue door. "Oh, now what?" Dean moaned, right before the doors were pulled open to reveal Castiel. "Cas?"

"Is this another trick?" Sam asked.

Christina smiled. She could feel his divinity. "No. No trick."

"It's me." Castiel said. "Uh, what are you doing here?"

"Us? What are _you_ doing here?" Dean asked.

"Looking for you. You've been missing for days."

"So, get us the hell out of here, then!" Sam encouraged. The audience groaned as Castiel walked forward.

"Let's go." Castiel said, raising his arms to touch the brothers, before he disappeared in a flash of static.

"Cas?" Dean asked.

He host walked between them, wagging his finger. "No, no, no, no. Mr. Trickster does not like pretty-boy angels." He pulled out another card and turned to Dean. "Dean Winchester." He addressed him before asking a question in Japanese.

"What do I do? What do I do?" Dean asked, panicked. "I don't wanna get hit in the nuts."

"What? I don't know. I, I, uh, just, uh, wait." Sam's mind suddenly cleared.

"What?!"

"I played a doctor. Christina played a... crazy homeopath."

"What?"

"In, uh, in _Dr. Sexy_ I played a doctor. I operated. Christina did weird shit with crystals."

"So?"

"So, we played the roles the Trickster wanted us to play. Maybe, we should just go along with it."

"Go along with what?"

"With the game! You know, we're on a game show, right? So, just answer the question!" Sam shouted.

"In Japanese?"

"Yeah!"

"I don't know Japanese!" Dean shouted.

"Try!"

"Damn it!" Dean growled before hitting the button. "Kotaeha iesudesu." He answered.

The Host looked at him, before saying "Iesudesu?" Dean nodded and repeated the words. The host pumped his arm again, and shouted, "Dean Winchester, Nutcracker champion!" The crowd went crazy.

"How did you do that?" Sam asked.

"I have no idea." Dean answered.

"So, that's it. We play our roles, we survive."

"Yeah, but play our roles for how long?"

"Good question." Sam said, as Christina walked forward with the other showgirl, clapping.

Dean forced a smile and waved at the audience. He looked down at Christina. "Hey. You look good in that outfit."

"Shut up, Winchester."

********************************************

Christina sighed as pulled her body into a yoga pose. She looked at the imaginary camera. "I've got genital herpes." She ground out.

She waited while an old man on a couch spoke her same words. Then Sam pulled away from a basketball game to say the same. "I've... got... genital herpes."

"I tried to be responsible." Christina said.

"Did I try." The old man said.

"But now I take twice-daily Herpexia to reduce my chances of passing it on." Sam said.

"Ask your doctor about using Herpexia." Christina said, before doing more yoga poses.

Dean's voice came over the scene. "Patients should always consult with a physician before using Herpexia. Possible side effects include headache, diarrhea, permanent erectile dysfunction, thoughts of suicide, and nausea."

"I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the spread of, of genital herpes. And that's a good thing." Sam said before going back to the game.

*******************************************

"We now return to Supernatural." Dean's voice came over the scene again.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean said, in a campy catch-phrasey way. A laugh-track played, followed by applause. Sam walked over to the woman in the bikini.

"Uh, I am really, really, very sorry, but, uh, we've got some work to do." Sam said, escorting her to the motel room door.

"But we did do work! In depth." She said. Cue laugh track. Sam opens the door and gently pushes her out. Dean waves at her and Christina pops up, pushing the bikini-clad woman out of the way and pushing into the room. Sam shuts the door and shakes his head in an exaggerated motion.

Dean smiled. "How long do we have to keep doing this?" He asked.

"I don't know." Sam said. Cue applause.

"Maybe forever." Christina said, pulling out pieces of roast beef from the sandwich.

"We might die in here." Sam said, his smile faltering. Cue laugh track.

"How was that funny?" Dean growled. "Vultures." Cue laughter again.

The door opened and Castiel walked in. His face was covered in cuts. Cue applause. "You okay?" Dean asked, as Christina walked toward the angel.

"I don't have much time." Castiel said, walking further into the room.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"I got out."

"From where?" Christina and Dean asked.

"Listen to me. Something is not right. This thing is much more powerful than it should be."

"What thing? The Trickster?" Dean asked.

"If it _is_ a trickster."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

Castiel opened his mouth to answer, but was thrown backwards into the wall by the door. The door opened and the Trickster ran in. "Hello!" Applause and cheers. Castiel stood, his mouth covered by duct-tape. "Thank you! Thank you. Please, stop."

The Trickster turned to Castiel. "Hi, Castiel!" He said, before his face turned serious and he flicked his hand and the angel disappeared in a flash of static.

"You know him?" Sam asked.

"Wait, how do you-" Christina started.

"Where did you just send him?" Dean interrupted.

"Relax, he'll live. Maybe." Cue laugh track.

"All right, you know what? I am done with the monkey dance, okay? We get it." Dean growled, walking around the wall that was his brother.

"Yeah? Get what, hotshot?" The Trickster challenged.

"Playing our roles, right? That's your game?"

"That's half the game."

"What's the other half?" Sam asked.

"Play your roles out there." The Trickster made a gesture to the audience.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked.

"Oh, you know. Sam, starring as Lucifer. Dean, starring as Michael. Your celebrity death match, Christina working as the ring girl. Play your roles."

"You want us to say 'yes' to those sons of bitches?" Sam was offended by the notion.

"Hells yeah! Let's light this candle!"

"We do that, the world will end."

"Yeah? And whose fault is that? Who popped Lucifer out of the box? Hm? Look, it's started. You started it. It can't be stopped. So, let's get it over with!"  
Christina wanted to oppose him, say that she had nothing to do with it, but... she felt it was better to stay silent.

"Heaven or Hell, which side you on?" Dean asked.

"I'm not on either side."

"Yeah, right. You're grabbing ankle for Michael or Lucifer. Which one is it?" Dean growled.

"You listen to me, you arrogant dick. I don't work for either of those S.O.B.s. Believe me."

"Oh, you're somebody's bitch."

Christina cringed as the Trickster grabbed Dean's collar and slammed him into the wall. "Don't you ever, ever presume to know what I am. Now, listen very closely. Here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna suck it up, accept your responsibilities and play the roles that destiny has chosen for you." He turned to Sam and Christina. "You boys are gonna say 'yes' and you, Bewitched, you're gonna play the role Lucifer laid out for you in 2014."

"And if we don't?" Sam asked as Christina looked at her feet.

The Trickster grinned, evilly. "Then you'll stay here in TV Land. Forever. 300 channels and, uh, nothing's on." He said, before snapping his fingers.

*************************************

Dean and Sam walked up to a crime scene, wearing suits and sunglasses. "Oh, come on." Dean complained.

"So, what do you think?" An officer asked, dipping under the crime scene tape.

"What do I think? I think go screw yourself, that's what I think."

"Uh, could you give us a sec, please? Thanks." Sam said. The officer walked away and Sam turned to his brother. "You gotta calm down."

"Calm down? I am wearing sunglasses at night." Dean growled, pulling them off. "You know who does that? No-talent douchebags."

Sam nodded in agreement. "I hate this game. I hate that we're in a procedural cop show and you wanna know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. There's like 300 of them on television and they're all the freakin' same. It's ooh, plane crashed here- oh, shut up."

"At least you're wearing real clothes." Christina piped up, walking forward. Dean cleared his throat as she walked up, a tight grey pencil skirt, a white blouse mostly unbuttoned to reveal a white lace bra. The most striking part of the outfit were the six-inch black stilettos. "You get to be detectives in suits, I get to be the idiot ME in killer heels."

Sam stared at her chest just long enough to make her blush before he turned his attention to the crime scene. "Hey."

"What?" Dean said, pulling his attention away from Christina.

"Check out Sweet Tooth over there." Sam said, nodding at an officer sucking on a lollipop.

"Think that's him?" Dean asked.

"Just, um, follow my lead." Sam said, before pushing under the crime scene tape and walking forward, sunglasses back on as music played over their head.

"You, uh, you okay?" The officer asked as Christina walked forward, trying to play her part without falling over.

"Yeah." Dean said, his voice going deep and gravelly to sound like Horatio Cain. "What do we got?"

The officer knelt next to the body as Christina squatted down in her skirt. "Well, aside from the ligature marks around his neck, he has what appears to be a roll of quarters jammed down his throat."

Dean took off his sunglasses, pulling out a flashlight to take a closer look. Sam took off his sunglasses. "Well, I say... Jackpot." Sam said.

The officer looked up and snorted in amusement. Sam put his sunglasses back on. Christina rolled her eyes. "Also, there is a stab wound to the lower abdomen." She said, pointing to his abs as she pulled on a pair of nitrile gloves.

"Well, I say... No guts, no glory." Dean replied, using a stick to check the wound and getting blood all over it.

The officer laughed. Sam put his sunglasses on again. "Get that guy a Tums."

"Gutter ball." Dean said, making the officer continue laughing.

"Good one, guys." The officer laughed as Dean walked up behind him. He turned to Dean, just in time for Dean to stab him with the branch. The officer fell to the ground, trying to breath. Christina stood, turning to the officer standing behind her who started laughing.

"You got the wrong guy, idiot!" He said, after showing his true visage.

"Did we?" Dean asked as Sam popped up behind the Trickster, staking him with a log. After a falling over, a burst of static showed and they looked around the warehouse they'd originally walked into.

Christina was excited to see her biker boots and jeans. "Oh, thank the gods." She said, hugging her plaid to herself.

*******************************

Dean brushed his teeth in the motel room. "I'm worried, man. What the SOB did to Cas. You know, where is he? Sam?" Dean looked around the room. Christina and Sam were both gone. "Where are you guys?"

As Dean got into the Impala, he growled at his phone. "Sam. It's me. Where the hell did you go?"

"Dean?"

"Sam? Where are you?" Dean asked, looking around the car.

"I don't know." Sam answered. "Oh, crap. I don't think we killed the Trickster."

"Knight Rider, really? And where the hell is Christina?" Dean groaned. His phone started to ring, Christina's name flashing up at him. "Hey, where are you?"

"I'm in the room. Trickster kept me behind while he bamphed you guys into Knight Rider. Seemed to think I can reason with you idiots. Just, uh, don't take off without me. I have to change. He put me in a Bonnie Barstow outfit, and I'm not feeling the eighties today."

"Hurry up. I hear theme music. Might not have any choice but to start driving." Dean said, before turning off his phone.

"Bonnie, that was KITT's mechanic, right?" Sam asked, lights on the console blinking in time with his words.

"Yeah. Cared more about the car than Michael."

"Hey, did she ever say anything to you about Lucifer in 2014?"

"No. We'll ask her about it when we get out of... here." Dean trailed off as Christina walked out of the Day-Z motel room, wearing grey slacks and one of his plaid shirts, tied in the front.

She climbed into the car, careful not to slam the door. "I wish he would have left me my damn clothes, you know?"

"I wish he woulda left me my body." Sam chimed in.

"You look damn good in my clothes, though." Dean said, reversing out of the parking lot and down a two lane road as Knight Rider theme played. "So, here's a stupid question. Have you tried to magic us out of this?"

"Thanks for the warning before you insulted my intelligence. Of course, I have. Back in _Dr. Sexy._ And while we were on that game show. No dice. Trickster magic trumps witchcraft."

"Okay, so... Stake didn't work. So, what is this, another trick?"

"I don't know. Maybe the stake didn't work because it's not a trickster?" Sam provided.

"What do you mean?"

"You heard Cas. He said this thing was too powerful to be a trickster."

"And did you notice the way he looked at Cas? Almost like he knew him."

"And how pissed he got when you brought up Michael and Lucifer."

"Son of a bitch." Dean growled.

"What?" Christina and the car chorused.

"I think I know what we're dealing with." Dean said.

"Care to share?" Christina asked.

"He's a fucking angel. Doesn't this all feel a little bit like a more... jokey version of what Zach is always pulling?"

Christina raised an eyebrow. He was right. "So, take down an angel. What's the SOP?" She asked.

"First, we hope he didn't pay attention when he melded my brother with my car."

"You have angel fighting gear in the trunk, or something?"

"I have angel trapping gear in the trunk. Cas gave me this oil, Holy Oil. It creates Holy Fire when you light it up. Angels can't cross."

"Awesome."

**********

Christina could see the oil on the ground as Dean put the jar back into the trunk. She was hoping the trickster wouldn't notice.

"Dean?"

"What?"

"That, uh, feels really uncomfortable." Sam complained. Dean shut the trunk and walked toward Christina. "Ow. You sure this is gonna work?"

"No, but I have no other ideas." He said before shouting at the sky. "All right, you son of a bitch! Uncle! We'll do it!"

"Should I honk?" Sam asked.

The trickster was suddenly in front of them. "Wow. Sam. Get a load of the rims on you."

"Eat me."

"Okay, boys and girl. Ready to go quietly?"

"Whoa whoa whoa, not so fast. Nobody's going anywhere until Sam has opposable thumbs."

"What's the difference? Satan's going to ride his ass one way or another." Dean just glared at him so the trickster snapped his fingers. Dean and Christina both sighed a small

relieved sigh as Sam climbed out of the car. "Happy?"

"Tell me one thing. Why didn't the stake kill you?"

"I _am_ the Trickster."

"Or maybe you're not." Dean said as Sam pulled out a lighter and tossed it into the oil. A ring of fire jumped to life around the trickster. "Maybe you've always been an angel."

The trickster laughed in their faces. "A what? Somebody slip a mickey in your power shake, kid?"

"I'll tell you what. You just jump out of the holy fire and we'll call it our mistake."

The Trickster laughed at him, before stopping abruptly, his face allowing the truth, before a burst of static went through the scene, revealing the warehouse. He clapped. "Well played, guys. Well played. Where'd you get the holy oil?"

"Well, you might say we pulled it out of Sam's ass." Dean quipped.

"Where'd I screw up?" The angel asked.

"You didn't. Nobody gets the jump on Cas like you did."

"Mostly it was the way you talked about Armageddon." Dean answered.

"Meaning?"

"Well, call it personal experience, but nobody gets that angry unless they're talking about their own family."

"So which one are you? Grumpy, Sneezy, or Douchey?" Sam asked.

"Gabriel, okay? They call me Gabriel."

"Gabriel? The archangel?"

Christina shook her head. "Not just an arch. The lost arch. He's been missing, according to lore, since before Jesus. Since before the Old Testament."

"Guilty."

"Okay, Gabriel. How does an archangel become a trickster?" Dean asked.

"My own private witness protection. I skipped out of heaven, had a face transplant, carved out my own little corner of the world. Till you two screwed it all up."

"What did Daddy say when you ran off and joined the pagans?"

"Daddy doesn't say anything about anything."

"And there is nothing wrong with pagans." Christina chimed. Gabriel winked at her.

"Then what happened? Why'd you ditch?" Sam asked.

"Do you blame him? I mean, his brothers are heavyweight douchenozzles."

"Shut your cakehole. You don't know anything about my family. I love my father, my brothers. Love them. But watching them turn on each other? Tear at each other's throats? I couldn't bear it! Okay? So I left. And now it's happening all over again."

"Then help us stop it."

"It can't _be_ stopped."

"You wanna see the end of the world?" Dean asked.

"I want it to be over!" Gabriel exclaimed. "I have to sit back and watch my own brothers kill each other thanks to you two! Heaven, Hell, I don't care who wins, I just want it to be over."

"It doesn't have to be like that. There has to be some way to, to pull the plug." Christina said, hopefully.

Gabriel laughed. "You do not know my family. What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner. That's why there's no stopping this, because this isn't about a war. It's about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other. You'd think you'd be able to relate."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

Gabriel looked between the brothers, confused at their not understanding. He whistled and shook his head in disbelief. "You sorry sons of bitches. Why do you think you two are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan. You were born to this, boys. It's your destiny! It was always you! As it is in Heaven, so it must be on earth. One brother has to kill the other."

"What the hell are you saying?" Dean growled.

"Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you? Because from the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always."  
Christina kept her eyes on Gabriel as the brothers looked at the ground, then each other. She was hoping it didn't show that she'd heard this before.

"No." Dean said. "That's not gonna happen."

"I'm sorry. But it is. Ask the witch. Lucifer told her the same thing in 2014." Gabriel said, before sighing deeply. "Guys. I wish this were a TV show. Easy answers, endings wrapped up in a bow...but this is real, and it's gonna end bloody for all of us. That's just how it's gotta be."

Dean turned to glare at the witch, who looked away.

"So. Boys. Now what, we stare at each other for the rest of eternity?" Gabriel asked.

"Well, first of all, you're gonna bring Cas back from wherever you stashed him." Dean ordered.

"Oh, am I?"

"Yeah, or we're gonna dunk you in some holy oil and deep-fry ourselves an archangel." Dean threatened. Gabriel snapped his fingers and Castiel appeared. "Cas, you okay?"

"I'm fine." Castiel responded, before turning to the other angel. "Hello, Gabriel."

"Hey, bro. How's the search for Daddy going? Let me guess. Awful." Castiel's eyes narrowed at him.

"Okay, we're out of here. Come on, guys." Dean started to walk away.

"Uh. Okay. Guys? So, so what? Huh? You're just gonna, you're gonna leave me here forever?" Gabriel asked, nervously.

Dean turned back to him as he got to the warehouse door. "No. We're not, 'cause we don't screw with people the way you do. And for the record? This isn't about some prize fight between your brothers or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family." He turned to Christina. "Can you do that thing with the fire... you know?"

Christina nodded, before stepping back to the ring of fire. "Don't say I never did anything for you." Dean said, before walking out the door, Sam following close behind.

Castiel watched as Christina put her hands out, focusing her energy to stifle the flames. The archangel smiled and scoffed as the fire died. "You know... that might be the coolest thing I've seen lately. And I saw you in your bra on CSI." He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I'm kinda getting tired of angels flirting with me." She muttered.

"Even Cas?"

She groaned before walking out the door, Castiel following behind.

"Hey, so... Seems like you spoke to Lucifer a lot more than you let on. And, uh, what Gabriel said back there about your part in-" Dean started as soon as she walked out of the room.

"Don't ask, Winchester."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to have to lie to you." She said, walking up to the Impala.

"And why would you lie? Did something happen that I don't know about?"

She threw a look at Castiel. "A lot has happened that you don't know about, Dean. It's not your issue."

"If it has to do with Lucifer then it has to do with Sam and that makes it my issue."

"I haven't even met Lucifer in this time, Dean. It's not-"

"CJ." Dean grabbed her shoulders and forced her to face him. "Just talk to me."

"It's not a big deal, Dean, but I don't want to talk about it. Okay?"

Dean's grip on her shoulders tightened. "Let me take an intuitive leap... 2014 Satan, wearing my little brother, wanted into your pants. That's why Gabriel made you Bonnie Barstow. Take care of Sam, ignore me, right?"

"Cas, will you take me home?" Christina asked, turning out of Dean's grip.

"Of course." Castiel said, placing a hand on her arm.

*******************************************

Christina leaned against her table and sighed. Castiel was just looking at her. "It's not an issue, Babe. I promise."

" _What_ isn't an issue, Christina?"

She sighed, deeply. "He asked me to stay. Lucifer, in that future that Zachariah concocted, he asked me to stay with him. But it wasn't real."

"Zachariah concocted a past where I was a 17 year-old human. It still feels real for both of us, even knowing it wasn't." Castiel put his hand to her face, rough fingers caressing

her cheekbone. "Why did he want you to stay?"

Christina looked up at her ceiling, blinking rapidly to stave off the tears. "There's a, a power in me. Some of it has been there since I was a little girl. But most of it... most of it started to grow in me after Crowley put me back together. This dark spot of... evil in me." She cleared her throat. "Lucifer liked that. He said it, it made me better than human. He wanted me to stay with him so that he could... cultivate it, make it stronger."

Castiel brushed his lips over hers. "What did you say?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" She whispered.

"Are you?" Castiel asked, one of his hands coming up to bury itself in her hair, fingers gripping her scalp. "I know I haven't been around much, but... You seem... lost, since you've been back." His breath skated over her face.

"I'm sorry. I'm trying to..."

"You shouldn't have to try with me. What happened?"

Tears poured from her eyes. "I beat the Croatoan virus. Something in me, just like with Sam, something is _wrong_ if I beat the virus. The demon, he brought me back wrong."

"You aren't wrong, Christina. If you beat the virus, it is because you are strong..."

"No. Lucifer told me. He _told_ me that I beat the virus because the demon used his blood when he was putting me back together. What if I-"

Castiel silenced her with a soft kiss. "I love you, Christina. You aren't destined for evil. You've never been _wicked_." He pulled the word directly from her thoughts. "I rebelled against Heaven for Dean, but don't think I was ignoring what I feel for you when I made that choice. Could I love you if you were evil?"

Christina shook her head. No, this angel would've seen it a mile away if she were evil. But wicked... Maybe the two weren't synonymous.

She moaned as he put a hand on her hip and pulled her body close. Her hands went to his shoulders as they kissed. They hadn't been alone together since Bobby was in the hospital, and they hadn't had time to... appreciate each other that night. She wanted to appreciate him, but more than that, she wanted him to look at her the way he had the last night they'd been together... before she'd been to that fake future.

Christina pulled away, grabbing Castiel's hand and pulling him toward her bedroom. He turned her around in the doorway and pushed her into the curtain that was her door, fingers digging into her hips. Her back pressed into the doorjamb as she pulled at his coat. He allowed her to pull his trench coat down his arms and let it fall to the floor. The fingers of both of her hands then buried in his hair, tugging a bit on the fluffy brown locks. He didn't snap, barely even moved and never broke the kiss, but suddenly they were on the bed and they were both nude. His mouth moved down to her neck as his hand skated across her scarred skin.

"Cas." She breathed. He raised his head to catch her lust-blown eyes. "You know I love you, right?"

"Of course."

"Even though I've been with..."

Castiel sat up and looked down at her. "Your relationship with Dean is a fact of your existence. I... remember that, now. I don't remember all of it, but I remember watching you kiss him and feeling no jealousy... I know that you and Dean... What you have was just like what you and I have."

She swallowed and looked up, sadly. "What Dean and I have, it used to be like this, but... since you pulled him out of Hell... I don't think he has any love for me."

Castiel's kiss was more response than any words he could've said. His kiss said he loved her and that he was happy to be with her. It said, 'Forget Dean Winchester', 'Forget the dark spot inside of you'... 'Forget the worries that have kept you from happy since you've been back'.

Christina ignored a tear as she pushed herself into the kiss, her hand coming between them to wrap around his length, stroking it, appreciatively. Castiel growled a little, before pulling away from her to push her back onto the mattress. His mouth attacked her breast, sucking a nipple between his lips and lightly rolling it between his teeth. "Oh, my god! You do remember." She whispered. She could feel him smile around her nipple as his tongue flicked out to caress it. Her hand found his cock again and pumped it, slowly, as his hand went to her other breast, squeezing lightly and scratching dull nails across the skin.

"Cas, let me... lie back so I can blow you." She said, not being able to think of a way to say it other than the blunt way.

Castiel pulled away and smiled at her. He kissed her, deeply, sucking her bottom lip in between his lips. "You know you don't have to do that, right? I mean, last time... you didn't even... finish."

"I want to. I love you."

Christina pushed him back to lie down on the bed and gripped him securely with her right hand. Her tongue flicked out to caress the head. She leaned her head down and wrapped her lips around his base, creating a heavy suction as she pulled back to the tip. She repeated the motion over and over, her hand wrapped around his base, pumping in time with her mouth. When she felt everything begin to tighten, she pulled back, wiping at her bottom lip with the back of her hand. She crawled up his body, positioning herself to straddle his dick. "Ready, babe?" His dick twitched against her opening at the words. "You really do like it when I call you 'babe', don't you?" She whispered, before guiding him into her and slowly sinking down onto him.

She stayed still, eyes closed blissfully for a few long moments, before Castiel bucked underneath her. "Patience, angel." She breathed. She rolled her hips forward and grabbed one of his hands in each of hers. She guided his left to her right breast and his right hand to the top of her thigh, bringing his thumb around to land just above her clit. "If you rub your thumb there while I ride you... I promise I'll finish this time."

He gave an experimental swipe of his thumb, causing Christina to clench and moan. Castiel combined the movement with a pinch to her nipple and smirked at the reaction. Her hands found his shoulders as she began a fast pace of alternating bouncing and swiveling her hips back and forth. His thumb swept back and forth, keeping time with her erratic pattern. She sped up, needing more, needing harder... deeper. She drove herself onto him harder. "Cas... rub faster. Now, please. I'm almost... please."

Castiel's thumb came down hard on her clit, rubbing it roughly. She cried out, her hands going from his shoulders to the wall in order to hold herself up. Her body clenched tightly, sending Cas into his own spiral, shooting his load into her. She rolled off of him and sighed contently. Castiel wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to lie her head on his chest. "Christina... I... have noticed that you are unconcerned with the creation of a child." Christina stiffened in his arms, so he rubbed a hand down her arm. "I remember the use of condoms when we were in high school, but no longer."

She sniffled and closed her eyes. "Lilith broke me. Crowley didn't fix that when he put me back together. No need to be concerned."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"No... you have that right, you know... I'm surprised Dean hasn't asked."

"Have you- recently?"

"No... not since we went to the future." She sat up and looked in his eyes. "I thought you accepted what Dean and I have?"

"I do. I was... just not sure... you said he didn't love you anymore. I thought... you had stopped with him."

"It's adorable to listen to you stumble over your words, babe, but... you know how I feel about him. Whether he loves me or not, I adore him. As much as I adore you."

"Not more?"

"What happened to 'no jealousy'? No, not more. I don't love Dean more than you, just like you don't love me more than Dean. I wish you'd remember that part. Look, I... I have some witchy stuff that I have to prepare to get done before the moon is high, so..." She said, shifting away from him and standing.

"Are you saying that to make me leave?"

"Not because I want you gone, Cas, but... yeah." Castiel stood, snapping his fingers to replace their clothes. "Oh, thanks, Castiel. These are cleaner than they were before. Wow."

Castiel walked in front of her and caught her under her chin. "I love you, Christina. I might not be able to see you again anytime soon. I have to continue my search for God. Pray to me and I will come."

She smiled. "Okay. I love you, too. Find your Father."

He placed a soft kiss on her lips and then, disappeared.

********************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter... Christina meets Chuck and Becky at the Supernatural fan con.


	2. Real Ghostbusters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triggers for attempted rape.

"Hey, we've got prophet problems." Dean said, as soon as Christina's phone beeped to say the line had connected.

"Hello to you, too, Winchester."

"Sam got a text from Chuck last night. You remember, prophet Chuck? You flirted with him in the same future universe where Lucifer told you to stay with him."

Christina growled, feeling betrayed. "Cas told you?"

"Cas tells me everything. That's just the relationship we've got. Chuck said life-or-death. Sam thought we might need some extra oomph. You wanna bamph to me, give us a hand?"

"Fine. Gimme a minute to grab a bag." She said, before shutting down her phone and reaching under her altar for a spell component bag. She tucked her Glock 26 into a holster under her left arm and put an extra magazine in her inside pocket. She tapped her wrist three times and circled the symbol there.

Christina appeared next to Dean as he stood glaring at Chuck. "You told us to come." Dean growled.

"Ah, no, I didn't." Chuck responded, throwing a nervous look to Christina.

"Yeah, you did." Sam insisted. "You texted me. This address, life-or-death situation. Any of this ringing a bell?"

"I, I, I didn't send you that text."

"We drove all night! I called in..." Dean didn't finish.

"I'm sorry. I, I, I don't understand what could... oh, no."

"What?" Dean growled.

"SAM! You made it!!" A shrill voice squealed from the top of the stairs. A small blond woman in a teal sweater-vest ran down the stairs.

Sam seemed to search for the memory attached to the face. "Oh, uh, Becky, right?"

"Oh. You remembered." The woman said, enamored. "You've been thinking about me."

Christina scoffed as Sam looked around for help. "I..."

"It's okay. I can't get you out of my head, either." Becky finished.

"Becky, did you take my phone?" Chuck accused.

"I just borrowed it... from your pants."

"Becky."

"What? They're going to want to see it!"

"See what?" The brothers asked, simultaneously.

"Oh, my god! I love it when they talk at the same time!" Becky squealed.

Christina laughed. "Yeah, that's pretty great." She said, as a man walked out of the building to stand at the top of the steps.

"Hey, Chuck? Come on, pal. It's showtime."

Becky ran up the stairs, excitedly. Chuck turned to the Winchesters. "Guys. I'm sorry." He nodded vaguely. "For everything." He said before following Becky up the stairs.

The hunters looked at each other before starting up the stairs, warily.

"Hey. Welcome to whatever shit-show this is, Christina." Sam said.

"I guess I just can't say 'no' to a Winchester... even when we're fighting. Speaking of... Dean?" The older Winchester turned to her at the top of the stairs. "I'm sorry. I should have just told you, but... it's hard, you know? Lucifer is a big player and even if that future was a construct of Zachariah's imagination... the angels have knowledge of events that haven't happened yet and it scared me. The thing with Croatoan, with Lucifer asking me to stay with him... I thought it'd be better to keep it to myself. Anyway... sorry."

Dean wrapped an arm around her and led her into the hotel. "We ready?"

"Sure." She said, pulling out of his arm and holding the door open for the boys.

As they walked in, a large man wearing a brown leather jacket and a blue button up walked by them carrying a mug of beer. "Hahaha. Hey, Dean. Looking good."

"Who the hell are you?" Dean asked the guy's back.

The man turned back around. "I'm Dean, too. Duh."

Christina smirked and followed the big guy. Chuck plus Becky plus Random Guy Cosplaying as Dean... that equals fan convention. "Hi." She said, sitting in a chair across from the guy. "You're costume is amazing. I mean, you might wanna try to weather that jacket a bit. Dean's had his since he was a teen and John had it for years before that, but the rest... Where'd you get a Samulet?"

The guy looked down at the necklace and smiled. "Oh, there's this fan in Sweden, he makes 'em. Cost 40 bucks, plus shipping, but..." He fiddled with the necklace. "It makes the costume. You... didn't cosplay?"

Christina looked down. "How do you know? Maybe, I'm a random hunter. Or a witch."

"Oh, yeah. In Malleus Maleficarium, the witches were just wearing civvies."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Dean. I'm sure you'll try to kill me at some point." She said, standing.

"It hasn't started yet, so... my name's Demian."

"Christina." She said, offering her hand.

He took it, with a smirk. "You know that there _is_ a Christina that's a witch in the series."

"Oh, really? Shoot, you just handed me my cosplay, then."

"Yeah, I mean, she's never described. It's a one-off mention in Malleus, but, yeah, Christina the Witch."

"Well, all right. I will be Christina, the witch today." She said, dropping his hand. "I'll see you around, Demian-Dean."

She walked over to Sam and Dean, who were glaring at the little blond woman. "It's awesome! A Supernatural convention. The first ever."

"Come on, boys. Blend in. Act like you like your lives." Christina said, walking into the auditorium and taking a seat in a chair near the back.

***************************

Christina sat in the audience as Chuck answered questions about guns and Ruby and then someone asked, "Yeah, at the end of the last book, Dean goes to Hell. So, what happens next?"

"Oh. Well, there lies an announcement, actually. You're all going to find out." Chuck said, before looking nervously at Sam and Dean. "Uh, Thanks to a, a wealthy Scandinavian investor, we're going to start publishing again."

Christina flinched as the room erupted in cheers and screaming. She looked back at the boys, who looked like they were about to jump the stage. She stood, stepping between them and putting a hand on each of their backs. "I have two words for you. Guardian Archangel." She said, before walking back into the hotel's foyer.

Sam followed her out into the open area. "Hey."

"Yeah, Sam?"

"Lucifer asked you to stay?" He whispered, pulling her a little away from the group.

She looked up at him, before sighing deeply. "This is why I didn't want to say anything about it, Sammy. This is..."

"Is that why you've been weird with me, lately?"

Her eyebrows scrunched together. "What do you mean?"

"Is it because Lucifer was wearing me? Did he do something to you?"

"Sam, I don't wanna do this, especially here." She whispered, backing away.

"Yeah, right now might not be the best time, but... Christina, you've been awkward with me since you've been back. You... you used to call me 'sweetheart', you barely look at me, anymore. You put your hand on my back in there and that's the first time you've _touched_ me since you've been back from the future. Unless you count when you sat in me while I was the Impala, which I don't." Christina's back hit the wall and she had nowhere else to go. "Christina, talk to me."

She stared at their feet, trying to ignore the proximity. "Sammy... Lucifer, he just... he told me some things, a-about you. I just thought it'd be better to... back away a little."

It was Sam's turn to scrunch his eyebrows together. "What'd he say?"

"I... Sam. Don't...."

"Christina, what did he say about me?"

"He said you've wanted to fuck me since back when you still thought I was a lesbian." She whispered, furiously. She didn't dare look at his face, her eyes closing. "He said that me calling you 'Sweetheart' turned you on. And when I breathed my power into you... You almost took _me_ in that honeymoon suite, instead of Ruby."

Sam backed away, his hand going to the back of his neck to rub nervously. "That's..."

"It was better to just back away, try to forget it."

"Okay. Maybe... let's do that." Sam said, walking off toward Chuck and Becky. Christina watched from he corner as Dean and Sam growled at the prophet.

She moved to join them just in time to hear, "Uh, Becky. Would you excuse us for just a second?" from Chuck.

Becky nodded. "Uh-huh!" and Dean and Sam walked away to a door leading to a hallway. Christina didn't follow, flopping into the chair Chuck had vacated. "So... who are you?"

Christina pulled Chuck's drink off of the table and took a sip. It was cloyingly sweet. "Christina. Harris. Merry meet, Becky Rosen." She said, before forcing more of the drink down her throat.

"Oh! Witch Christina, from Sioux Falls!  Dean mentioned you in 'Malleus Maleficarum'. Sam said you were like Glinda of Oz, and then Dean spent a paragraph musing about a 'cold night in a Dodge Charger."

"Wow. That's... Oh my god!" She took another drink and hoped that the liquor in it would present itself soon. "How graphic were his musings?"

"It was pg-13, at best. I think the most graphic part was when he was wondering about how you got so good at, um, deep-throating."

"Wow. Oh, my god." She repeated.

"Yeah, Chuck didn't describe you, at all. I wasn't expecting a witch to be so pretty. It, uh, would've made me nervous to have you over in that corner with Sam, but I know you're a Dean girl."

Christina rubbed a hand across her face. "You know, most witches are pretty. Magic works better than makeup." She looked at Becky through Becky's own eyes.

She expected the blond fan to freak but she just scoffed, excitedly. "Oh, my god. That's so cool! Can you look like anybody?"

Christina shook the glamour away. "Anyone of a similar body type."

"What was Dean like in bed?" Becky asked the question like it was a completely normal thing to ask a woman she just met.

"Excuse me?"

"I write fanfiction and... I've always written Dean as an aggressive lover, 'push you into a wall and leave bruises' kinda guy. The perfect companion to Sam, who's just a giant Teddy bear. You think I characterized them right?"

Christina blinked at the blond for a few moments before taking another drink. "You know that this is my ex-boyfriend and his little brother you're asking about? And Dean in high school is not the same as Dean now."

"Well, how was he back then? I could do a high school fic." Christina was saved by Chuck walking up, alone. Becky looked around him, trying to find Sam. "Where are they?"

"They ran off because the hunt started. I don't think they... Uh, get it." Chuck answered, looking at his near-empty drink in Christina's hand.

Becky jumped up and ran for the door Chuck had come through, so he took her seat and picked up her abandoned drink. "I'm glad you're here, uh, can I talk to you about something important?"

"Shoot. This yellow thing is starting to kick in, so..."

"Uh, So... I've been writing, you know and... someone is gonna help get me published again. Starting from when Dean got pulled out of Hell... that's uh, 'Lazarus Rising', but..."

"Chuck, you're rambling."

Chuck took a deep breath. "Well, the second book is... The working title on it is "Are you there, God' but, uh, it's about the Witnesses, so... you're a pretty prominently featured character. So, you're on the cover?" It came out like a question.

"Oh, man. Tell me that I'm just as unrecognizable as Fabio and Duke Nuke'em out there."

Chuck cringed. "I got with a better artist this time. And my... publisher insisted on some... aesthetic choices. I mean... Do you wanna just see it?" Chuck asked, reaching between her legs and pulling a folder out from under his chair. As soon as she leaned forward, he opened it. It was drawn in the same Harlequin romance style that the covers of the other books had, but the face was undeniably hers. She was standing in Bobby's front yard with a shotgun. Christina leaned down to examine it, noticing that even the scars matched. The only problem is that she was dressed in all black, necklaces, rings and bracelets covered in pentacles and Gothic symbols.

"Chuck, this is... kinda offensive. I haven't been goth since middle school when I was alone cause no one would talk to me after..." Christina faltered as she realized that none of that happened. She can't even say for certain whether she was alone in middle school.

"That's gotta be hard, never knowing what's real about your past." Chuck said, sympathetically.

"You know about that?"

"Yeah. I mean, I see a lot of stuff about people tangentially related to Sam and Dean. You and Cas... definitely saw that. And, you know... Dean was there, too."

"Thanks for never writing about the... the Tessellation." She whispered as someone walked up to the table to let Chuck know he was going to be needed on the stage soon.

"Yeah, that was just self-preservation, really. I have to keep as many fans as possible, you know, and if I write Dean as anything other than the hunter archetype... Well, you know."

"Yeah. I do."

"So you went to the future too and... I saw something, in that alternate universe that Zachariah made... in the future?"

"Yeah?" She said, suspiciously.

"You and Lucifer? What was up with-" Chuck stopped as a knife was discreetly pressed against his thigh. "Hey, I'm not gonna mention it, I promise. Won't write about it, either." 

"Chuck, this is the most important thing in my whole life, okay, that no one finds out that I stayed. If you ever tell, I will destroy you, archangel be damned."

"I swear." Chuck groaned. Christina put the knife back into its sheath. "But, I mean... They can tell you're different. All of 'em. Are-are you just gonna keep hiding behind the Croatoan thing?"

"That's exactly what I'm gonna do." She took a drink of the yellow thing. "I haven't even met Lucifer here." She whispered back.

"And when you do?"

"Have you seen that?"

"No. But it's gotta happen."

"Why? Because fake Lucifer that Zachariah created said we knew each other? That doesn't mean anything."

"That fake Lucifer is the reason you know why you can beat the virus. He's the reason that... dark spot on your soul has grown."

"He's the reason my power has grown, too, so remember that, Chuck." The words came out slow, with no feeling.

"You feel guilty... don't you?" Chuck asked, leaning forward.

She blinked at him. "I didn't mean to stay. And I didn't mean to... keep staying. I kept telling myself, 'I'll leave tomorrow' and then he'd come to me with something new. Things were bad there, but... they could be so good sometimes."

"And Lucifer? He was good?"

"He never hurt me. He just... made me better... or worse. I'm stronger now. I'm..."

"I think, maybe, stopping would be the best idea here, Christina. I mean... you were there for Sam's thing with the demon blood. You know how the magic thing can affect you. Maybe, you should back off, play analog again. Do you even realize that you've glamoured away your scars?"

Christina looked down at her cleavage, smooth skin greeting her. She sighed and stood. "I'll take it under advisement, Chuck. You fix that picture. Keep the jewelry and I won't complain about the clothes, but... Red lipstick, shades of brown for the eye shadow." She said, walking over to the bar.

"A bottle of beer, two whiskeys and a pint." She ordered. As Sam and Dean came to sit on each side of her, she slid the beer bottle to her right and one of the shots to her left. The guys nodded at her appreciatively and took the alcohol. She downed her shot and pulled the beer mug to her lips. "So, fake ghost hunt. How was that?"

"Shut up. Just... shut up." Dean growled.

"Right. Look... I'm gonna go." Christina said, standing.

"Go?" Sam asked, turning to her. There was a sadness there.

"Guys... this isn't a thing. I can understand you guys staying because... this is your life on the page, but... I'm a single paragraph in a book about you putting down witches. I'm cool to leave. I'll, uh..."

"How you planning to get back to Sioux Falls?" Dean asked, barely looking up from his shot glass, which was being refilled by the bartender.

"I'll scrounge up some wheels, don't worry about it."

Sam stood, a wall of muscle stopping her from heading for the door. "You should wait. You've been drinking. Be safe, wait out the buzz. If you still wanna go when you're sober, I'll help you get a car."

Christina couldn't help but be touched by the concern. From Sam, it was appealing. From Dean, it would've pissed her off. "Fine. I'm gonna go sit down. I don't wanna be at the bar when the Deans get back from the hunt, it's begging for sexual harassment." She angled around Sam for the chairs she'd been sitting with Demain at earlier. "Oh, and, uh... I don't need help getting a car. If needed, I could get any of these guys to give me their keys."

Sam smiled awkwardly before sitting back down. She sat in a chair and close her eyes to rest them. _I think, maybe, stopping would be the best idea here, Christina._ She ran her hand through her hair, pulling her strawberry hair around to hang over her left shoulder.

"Hey, sweetheart. Who're you supposed to be?" A Dean walked up and sat on the table in front of her.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. He was young, maybe early 20s, and attractive. She smiled at him, able to feel his apprehension. He was not used to being forward. It was almost sweet. "You read Malleus?"

"Yeah. It's one of my faves." He dropped the fake baritone gravel.

"Well, there's a paragraph where Dean thinks about a witch he knew in high school."

"Oh! Christina! Clever. She's never described, so you can take it where ever you want." The Dean geeked out. She nodded. "That's neat. Why... why the knife?"

She looked down at her hip. "Oh, well, because I talked to Edlund about the character. He gave me some spoilers. The knife works toward her character development."

"She's gonna be in the new books?"

"More than... Yeah, she's gonna get a real description and a personality more than 'Glinda of Sioux Falls'. She ended up friends with Bobby."

"So, you know Edlund, huh?"

"Never met him before today, so... Anyway... 'Dean', it was nice to see you." She said, standing.

He stood, too. "Sure you wanna walk? I've got an Impala in the parking lot that's been begging for some action. I mean, it's not a Dodge Charger, but..." The gravel was back in his voice.

"Oh, look at you! That leather must have imbued you with Dean's superhuman confidence." She smiled. "And you are cute, but I'm, like, a decade older than you. So... why don't you go track down that Ruby I saw earlier? She's closer to your age."

"Wait!" He whispered, desperately. "Look, you are the most amazingly beautiful woman here and... I don't want to... I'm here with my brother, okay, and he's my Sam, but... he bet me that I couldn't get a woman to come up to our room with me. I'm a virgin, okay, and I just want to prove that I can... you don't have to do anything with me, just... If I could get my brother to see me walking into my room with you, the most beautiful woman here, he'll never mess with me again."

She sighed, then nodded. "What's your name?"

"Mark."

"CJ. Come on. Where's your room?"

*************************************

As soon as she walked into the room, a set of hands grabbed her and pulled her in further. One of those hands covered her mouth and the other held her right wrist. Mark shut the door and locked it, before turning and pulling her knife from it's holster. "It's not very smart to follow a stranger into his hotel room." She kicked at him, pushing back against her unseen captor. Mark avoided the kicks, then moved his hand to her spell component pouch. He opened it, then scrunched his eyebrows together. "No cash. Thought these convention nerds were supposed to be flush." He said, tossing the pouch away.

Her captor pulled her away toward the bed, pushing her down and pushing her face into the mattress while her hands were secured behind her back. "Well, guess we oughta do something to make this worth our while."

Christina could feel her Glock digging into her side. She turned her head enough to speak and breath. "You need to let me go. I'll forget all about this and we can all walk away."

"Oh, girl... you aren't gonna be walking anywhere." The second man finally spoke up.

"I'm giving you an out here. If you continue with this shit, I will be forced into doing something..." A fist collided with her cheekbone.

"Shut the fuck up."

Christina closed her eyes as a rag was pushed into her mouth. She lay on her side for a few minutes as the men whispered in the bathroom. The only thing she was able to hear was, 'just gonna roll her. If we fuck her, we'll have to kill her so she doesn't ID me.'

She focused on her hands as they whispered, twisting her wrists until she could get a finger on the rope. She pushed electricity into the rope, which ignited. She breathed out forcefully at the feel of fire against her skin. As soon as the rope was weak, she broke her wrists out and flipped over, grabbing her Glock and jumping to her feet in one movement. They turned to her, shocked as she held up her gun and pulled the rag out of her mouth. "How did you-?" The Sam, an ugly guy with a bulbous nose, asked.

"I warned you. Tried to give you a chance to walk." She shook her head, slightly.

"You're not gonna kill us." Mark said, confidently.

Christina chuckled, clicking the safety back on and holstering it. "I am not. No... I'm gonna do something worse." She pointed at the blond. "Dýskamptos." He went stiff, only his eyes moving. They darted back and forth, panicked.

"What'd you do to him?" Mark asked, poking his partner in the arm.

"Can't have him interrupting us." She said, walking forward and putting her hand on his shoulder. He shouted as pain radiated down his arm. "Oh, no. Can't be screaming, Mark. Isychía." She said, wrapping her hand around his throat.

"You picked the wrong woman, Mark." She said, with a sad and angry smile. She chuckled a little as she pushed him to sit on the bed. "See, I have issues, Mark. I have anger that I can't get rid of. I have hidden it with whiskey and beer, I have hidden it by saving people and allowing myself to be on call to help whenever I'm needed, but sometimes, Mark... sometimes the monsters of this world aren't supernatural, sometimes they're rapist, murdering assholes who think they can get away with anything they want.

"The boys would want me to leave you alone. Let the cops do their job. But..." She smiled and ran a finger down his cheek. "I think I would rather just kill you, Mark. Too much time with Lucifer, I guess. He would never abide the... disrespect. Think I might just maim you, though. You don't know who I am, but... you will never forget me." She said, digging her nails into his cheek and scraping all across his face. She grabbed the jacket and pulled the leather down his arms.

"You don't deserve to wear this outfit. Dean would beat your ass into a little puddle. But he'd leave you whole, Mark. I can't do that." She pulled his eyelids up and looked into his blue eyes. "Énkavma." She said, a smile spreading across her lips as the vitreous fluid in his eyeballs started to boil. A rush ran through her as he tried to scream, his hands going to cover his eyes. A familiar tingling light-headedness came over her as he fell over silently screaming. She turned to the ugly man, his eyes wide and panicked.

"Is it your turn, now?" She asked, singsong. She swayed a little as she stepped to the man. He screamed deep in his throat. She giggled, placing a hand on his left thigh. She looked up into his scared brown eyes and whispered, "You're gonna lose this leg. I'm cutting off the blood-flow to it. Unless you can figure out how to get out of this spell before this blood loss causes permanent damage."

She pulled away and smiled, politely. "One-legged criminal. I don't think you'll last." She said, grabbing her spell components off of the dresser and picking up her knife. "You boys have a wonderful life." She said, walking out the door and securing it behind her with a 'Do Not Disturb' sign.

Christina twirled down the stairs, jumping the last three to the bottom. She watched as Dean ushered the actors and hotel associates into the auditorium. "Where have you been? Come on!" He shouted at her. She raised an eyebrow and followed him into the room. Dean and Sam poured salt in front of the doors.

"Real ghost?" She whispered.

Dean looked into her eyes. "Are you high? What magic could you have possibly needed?"

She shook her head and waited for them to talk. "Ok. New theory." Sam started.

"The legends about Leticia are ass-backwards, obviously."

"Yeah. So, all right, let's say those three orphans were playing cowboys and Indians." Sam continued.'

"LARPing as cowboys and Indians."

"Whatever. And say, let's say they scalped Leticia's son and killed him."

"Mom catches 'em in the act, flips out, slices them and dices herself."

"If that's true, it means we've got three bloodthirsty brats in the building."

"Yeah, and Leticia was the only one keeping them under control."

"Smooth move on our part." Sam whispered back.

"Yeah, well, we gotta get back to the cemetery, torch the kids' bones."

"How? We're trapped." Sam said, causing Christina's eyes to shoot to attention. "We don't even have our guns! The ghosts are running this joint and they're only scared of one thing."

"Exactly." Dean's eyes lit up as he turned to Christina.

"Okay, I'm lost here. We're trapped?"

"Yeah. Maybe you'd be caught up if you hadn't disappeared. Murderous kid ghosts. They're only scared of Leticia Gore. You can look like any chick."

"You want me to glamour myself to look like a dead woman?"

"Yeah, that too much to ask?"

"Dean, she's already been using magi-" Sam started.

"It's fine. I'll do it." She said as Dean turned to Demian.

"We wanna help." Demian said.

"Guys, no." Dean said shaking his head at Demian and his Sam.

"Why not?" The Sam said.

"Cause this isn't make-believe."

"Look, we know. We're not nuts. We're freakin' terrified." Demian said.

"Yeah, but if all these people are seriously in trouble, we gotta do something." The Sam whispered.

"Why?"

"Because... that's what Sam and Dean would do."

Christina walked to the door, pushing through it and carefully stepping over the salt. She walked to the bar, took a shot and looked at the picture of Leticia Gore. She ran her hand over her face and down her hair, down her shirt and her jeans, before turning around to look at Sam and Dean and the two cosplayers.

"How did she-" Demian started.

She turned to Sam and Dean, twirling slightly. "So, I talk to the kids, get them to open the doors, you guys make it out to the cemetery for a salt-n-burn. Pretty standard, right?"

"Standard? Are you-" The tall one stuttered.

"Yeah. I'll have your back with the... fire poker." Dean said, walking over to grab the iron poker. "You and me, Siege, library. They'll focus on the door."

She nodded, walking toward the library she'd seen earlier. Dean pushed her into the wall just before the library. "This isn't the first magic you've done tonight. You are high right now. Can I trust you in there?"

"Of course, you can, Dean."

"You promised me. Magic as a tool, not a drug. I said I wouldn't hammer you about it anymore and you said you wouldn't get caught in this shit again. Tell me that you needed to use magic, that it wasn't just for fun." He whispered.

She closed her eyes. "One of these wannabes tried to rape me, Dean. I used magic to get out and away without having to shoot him." She opened her eyes and pulled away from the wall. "Magic as a tool, Winchester." She said, before walking into the library.

"Boys?" She said, forcefully. "Boys?! Come here this instant."

She looked around, no sign of them. "You come when I call you! You understand me?!"

"Miss Gore?" The boys suddenly appeared in front of her.

She made her face hard. "You boys have been very naughty. Now, you open the doors. Open the doors right now!" She demanded. The boys flickered backward, worried. "You're very naughty. You hear me? Naughty. Naughty, bad boys!"

Her head started to swim. She looked down at her arm and saw scars. "Dean." She said, weakly, knowing her glamour had failed. The boys glared at her as Dean rushed into the room, fire poker held high.

"Run." He ordered. Christina shook her head weakly, as the boys brandished their knives. "You're weak. You can't even hold your glamour right now and that's second nature. How can you help me? Get out of here!"

She scrambled to leave the room, but she turned and put her hand up. "Asfalís." She whispered. She slid down the wall outside the library, where Dean had pushed her. She couldn't stand anymore.

Sam checked her pulse on his way into the room, but he pulled back when she blinked open her eyes. She nodded at the room and Sam ran to help Dean as she passed out.

************************************************

Christina woke to Dean putting her in the back of the Impala. "Ambulances are on the way. Had to get you out so that we wouldn't have to explain. You okay?"

She sat up and looked down, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry. I fucked it up."

"Maybe you should step back from the magic again. I mean... I'm not sayin' stop, but... you could've been hurt in there, because we were relying on your magic and it failed. That can't happen again."

"It won't... I just... over-reached, is all."

"What'd you do to that guy? The one that you used your magic on?" Dean asked, quietly.

Christina shook her head. "It doesn't matter. It won't happen again. I promise." She whispered.

"Get some more rest, Siege."

Christina lay her head on her arm and closed her eyes.

 *************************

"You okay?" Sam asked Dean, walking up to the Impala. Christina opened her eyes and sat up.

"Yeah, you know? I think I'm good."

"Well, you're not gonna believe it, but I got a lead on the Colt." Sam said.

"What?"

"Long story. I'll tell you on the way?" Sam said, grabbing the passenger door handle.

"What are we waiting for?" Dean said, getting in and turning over the engine. He looked at Christina in the rear view mirror. "How you doin'?"

"I'm embarrassed, but I've come down. So... the Colt?"

"Uh, yeah. Becky told me that Bela didn't give the Colt to Lilith. She gave the Colt to Lilith's right hand, a demon named-"

"Crowley has it?" Christina squeaked.

Sam turned in his seat to look at her. "How do you know about Crowley?"

She started to hyperventilate as Dean pulled over down the road from the hotel. "Crowley is the one that pulled her out of Hell."

"Well, then, he's... reasonable?" Sam asked.

"He's... a demon. He's King of the Crossroads. Spent centuries kissing Lilith's ass, doing her bidding. He's evil and horrible and..." She took a deep breath. "He's got the Colt. So, we have to find him."

"Yeah. You know him pretty well." Dean said, quietly. "Any idea where to start looking?"

She took another deep breath. "Any big important deal going down, he'll be there. Rich guys, politicians, anyone important selling their soul, he'll be the one to close the deal." She leaned forward. "You can get Cas to look around for him. It's a demon. Cas should be able to find him."

"Yeah, we're gonna take you home, first." Dean said.

"Yeah, you don't look so good."

"I have to deal with this, okay? I can't just sit at home while you walk right into the King of the Crossroads' lair. I know how to deal with him. Just... call Cas, have him look for Crowley. I need to rest." She said, closing her eyes and leaning against the car door.


End file.
